


Three Months is Far Too Long

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Hints at Sexual Acts, Language, Talk of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 12:22:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16912821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Three months is a long time to go without spending any real time with your husband.  And after you loose your cool about it, Dwalin decides he will help you get some time with your king.





	Three Months is Far Too Long

“And that was how I survived the Orc raid!  Pure dwarven ingenuity and muscle.  Nothing can beat that.  Except me wife.  You know, there’s this one story where she—”

 

“ ** _Is it the story of Mother Goose, except Satan got involved?_** ”  You snapped at the nobleman before you, the sarcasm dripping form you like a melty ice cream cone.  You glared at the darrow as you rose from your seat.  “Because if it isn’t, I really haven’t the time or the want to hear it.”

 

The sound of his jaw snapping shut pleased you.  After he derailed the meeting for two hours, you were past politeness and decorum and into the world of anger and frustration.  And it were those emotions that had you storming out of the hall with tears pooling in your eyes.

 

“Lass, where ya goin’?  Ya have two more—”

 

“Cancel them.”  You bit back at Dwalin, not wanting to deal with his face, voice, or thoughts today.

 

“Can’t do…”  Dwalin was wiser than people gave him credit for, for when you fixed him with the tear-filled, don’t fuck with me look, he backed down.

 

“Lassie…what’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

The grunt of disapproval and worry was enough to make you snap.  Normally, you were calm and collected, but after the past two months…

 

“I can’t do this.”  You said with a defeated sigh as you let your body fall into the bench outside the hall.

 

“What?”

 

“This!”  You motioned around you to the restored walls, down to your heavily jeweled gown, and the circlet on your head.  “I can’t be a good queen!”

 

Dwalin scoffed at our statement as he sat beside you.  Thorin had ordered him to protect you ever since the mountain had been reclaimed.  Normally, the captain of the guard would stay with the king, but after Thorin spent half a week doing nothing but worrying over you, Dwalin took the position. 

 

And Dwalin had done well, being at your side as friend, guard, and confidant.  The two of you had always been friends, but after marrying Thorin, he came to see you as a sister.  He had defended you against out of line aristocrats, overzealous nobles, and one little boy who tried to pull a prank on you (Kili’s son).  Guess now he had to protect you from yourself. 

 

“You’re a fine queen.  You are fair and just, kind.  The people love ya.”

 

It was your turn to scoff as you ripped the crown off your head.  “I highly doubt it.  I’m just a human girl you found on the quest.”

 

“Hey.”  Dwalin gripped your shoulder tight, his eyes locking with yours.  “ ** _They love you more than you know._** ” 

 

You sighed at his words, mumbling under your breath as you looked away.  “It’s not just that…”  You hesitated, wondering just where that line of oversharing was with Dwalin.  “It doesn’t matter if they do…Thorin doesn’t.”

 

“What?!”  Dwalin couldn’t believe his ears.  Could you really think Thorin, the one who cracked a whole in the side of the mountain so you could watch the sunset, not love you?  “If you think that, yer daft.” 

 

“Am I?!”  Your emotions swelled again, the anger and frustration building.  “We have been married less than a year, and I hardly ever see him! He is never home for any meals, home late, leaves early.  I wrote him little notes to be cute…he threw them all away!”  You took all of your frustrations out as you screamed at Dwalin.

 

“I’m his wife and he hasn’t even…”  Your voice died down.  “Three months.”

 

“What?”

 

You shot him a glare.  “He hasn’t touched me in three months Dwalin!”

 

“I don’t…what?”  Apparently that was the line of oversharing, as his face turned as red as a tomato as your words were processed in his brain.  “Well…” 

 

“I mean, what does a wife have to do to get some D from her husband?!”

 

“D?” 

 

“His dick, Dwalin!  Sex!  Three months! No sex!”  You probably shouldn’t have shouted that like you did, but you were at the end of your ropes.  And apparently he was at his.  His face imitated a fish for a moment before he quickly fled.

 

“You fucking asked!”  You pointed out.  He was the one who asked what was wrong, so he only had himself to blame.

 

000

 

Sure, you may have scared Dwalin for life, but at least he did what you asked and canceled all your meetings.  Granted, he may have just done that so he didn’t have to face you again. 

 

It gave you time to relax in your room.  And by relax, you meant stew.  The empty bed just reminding you of the thing you were missing form your life.  Your husband.

 

A loud and frantic knocking sounded on your door, pulling you from the downward, sexless spiral you were in.

 

“Kili?”  You were surprised to see Kili and his son, Vili, at your door.  “What are you doing here?” 

 

“Well, we were going for a walk in the courtyard.  I heard your meetings were canceled and thought you’d like to join us!”  Kili’s bright attitude would have been a welcome reprieve if you didn’t think this had Dwalin written all over it.  So, not only did he run away, but sent someone else in…oh, Dwalin.

 

“I’d love to.”  You said with a sweet smile, taking Vili’s hand when he offered it.  This little boy had the amazing talent of brightening anyone’s day, including yours.

 

Each moment you spent with them pushed your worries far away, making you smile and laugh more so than you had in the past week combined.  Little stray thoughts, comments, noises they made were funnier than the last. 

 

“How come you don’t have a beard?”

 

“That’s because she didn’t eat her veggies!”  Kili jumped in for a classic parenting moment.

 

“Then why don’t you have one?”  Vili’s innocent question made you break out in laughter.  A great start to the walk.

 

000

 

“You know what I always thought…”  Kili whispered to you as Vili tucked against him with a big yawn, his exhaustion from on afternoon out winning against his resolve to stay away.  “ ** _Would it not be hilarious if farts were like yawns, contagious?_** ”

 

You chuckled at his silliness, giving him a playful tug on his braid.  “I have enough trouble keeping you Durins proper during a meal.  Couldn’t even imagine how bad it would get if it were contagious.” 

 

“Hey, uncle started it last time!” 

 

“Yea, I know he did.”  You were surprised to see Dwalin standing guard at your door, brushing off your maid, sending her the other way.  “I will see you later.  You spoke as you approached Dwalin. 

 

“Dwalin,” you curiously eyed him, “what’s going on?  Is everything okay?”

 

“Aye.”  He gruffed.  A pleased, cat who caught the canary smile, crossed his face.  It terrified you.  “Three months is a long time.”  He noted before holding the door open for you.  “I’ll make sure you aren’t disturbed.” 

 

Disturbed?  Your eyes went wide when you caught his drift.  Thorin must be in there, waiting for you.  Without another word, you stepped in, letting your feet guide you through the front room and into your marital chambers.

 

You gasped at the sight, the audible sound sending Thorin into a tizzy.  “Who’s there?!” 

 

You marveled at the sight.  A gloriously, half-naked dwarf lay before you, spread out on the bed, tied to it.  And blindfolded.  Dwalin must have pulled off a miracle to get this to happen without injury.  Must have caught him while he was changing.  Thorin cursed again, trying to free himself, making you panic. 

 

“Dwalin!  What is this?!”  He screamed, sending you running back to the front door.

 

“What did you do?!”  You screamed at the too happy looking dwarf. 

 

“Givin’ ya what you asked for.”

 

You were stunned for a moment, before your wit kicked in.  “ ** _When I said I wanted the D, uhh…I didn’t mean that!_** ” 

 

Dwalin just chuckled.  “Aye.  But maybe it is time you taught Thorin a lesson.”  He winked at you before pulling the door shut again.

 

With an evil grin, you stalked back into your room and ripped the blindfold off Thorin’s head.

 

“Y/n?!  What the hell—”

 

You put a finger on his lips, silencing him as you playfully growled out your response.  “Three months.  It has been three months since you have touched me. Even longer since we spent time along together.”  You let your fingers tease his lips and cheek, stunning him into silence.

 

“I know, you are the king and you are busy, but even them, I think you could agree…” your hands drifted down his chest, playing with the waistband of his trousers.  “Three months is far too long.” 


End file.
